Rick Stein

I just walked into the living-room only to hear the chef Rick Stein saying on television: 'You can't beat roast bat.' When I looked at the screen there was a huge seabass and not a bat, so that was a relief.

mishearing a radio excerpt

Yesterday I walked into the kitchen where the BBC Radio 4 News was on and heard, to my surprise, the newsreader say the following: A man who froze to death has been fined £20,000...... 'What's the world coming to?' I thought, until I heard the next part:
...... for carrying out 20 operations on animals. I then realised that the first part of the sentence was: A man who posed as a vet... and not A man who froze to death...

candelabras

Our team was in the lead the pub quiz on Sunday when the following question came up:

Name the most famous maker of candelabras in the world.

The six of us were completely floored by this and all felt very ignorant. In the end we had to leave the answer blank. Imagine our surprise when the quiz master gave the answer as Foster's. We'd misheard the question which was in fact:

Name the most famous maker of canned lagers in the world.

Consequently we came second.