Shoe search

Yesterday I went to a pub where I'd accidentally left a couple of pencil drawings of rhododendrons last week. I said to the Australian bartender 'I left some sketches here last week. Could you see if they've been handed in, please?' He went to the end of the bar and phoned the office, only to come back and say: 'Sorry. No one's handed in any shoes lately.' I was staggered until I realised he'd mistaken 'sketches' for 'Skechers', a famous shoe brand.

Wildlife

I had a traumatic culinary experience today when I picked some fresh spinach from the garden thinking 'how idyllic' and then a snail fell into the washing up bowl as I went to wash the leaves. I took the snail outside and threw it down the garden, only to return to find a bright green caterpillar had taken its place. I carefully placed that on a leaf, only to return to find an earwig having a paddle in the washing-up bowl. After all that I nearly lost my appetite. But obviously this experience was still in my head last night when I was watching Jamie Oliver's TV programme and heard him say 'Take a healthy slug.' All sorts of thoughts were going through my head until he said the next part of the sentence: 'of white wine'.